My therapist encouraged me to find healthy ways to self-soothe.

So I started color-coding my anxiety spreadsheet.

My manager told us to 'embrace the chaos.'

Which I quickly translated to: 'we're understaffed and you're not getting a raise.'

I've been trying to develop a self-care routine in therapy

But so far, it just consists of apologizing to my plants for neglecting them

I asked my boomer dad for advice on buying a house

He said 'just work harder and cut back on avocado toast', I said 'dad, I'm a freelance writer, my only income is from avocado toast reviews'