My financial advisor told me I really needed to diversify my assets.

I told him, 'Don't worry, I already have a very well-rounded portfolio.'

I've been dating a girl who's a professional voice actor, and she's always doing different accents in bed

But honestly, the only one that ever comes close to the real thing is the one she uses when she's faking it

I told my date I was an avid explorer.

She said, 'Oh really? So you're good at finding hidden passages and going deep into unknown territory?'

I've been taking sailing lessons from a beautiful instructor, and she's been teaching me how to navigate through tight spots, avoid getting tangled up, and make the most of every stroke.

Now I'm hooked on her techniques.