I took my cat to the vet, and they said it was having some vision problems.

I guess you could say it was having a paws-itive correlation between its eyesight and its purr-manent blindness.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

Why was the computer cold?

Because it left its Windows open.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.