So I was at the store today with my kids, and we saw a huge display of eggs. The kids were cracking each other up, making jokes about eggs, and we started talking about omelets and scrambled eggs. I asked the store manager if they had any special deals on eggs, and he said

they were egg-cellent values

I went to the doctor and said, 'Doc, I've got a problem, I've been feeling a little horse lately'

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!

I'm shell-shocked by how much I spent on seashells at the beach today