I tried to do that 'messy bun' look this morning, you know, the one that's supposed to be casual and chic.

After three failed attempts, a whole lot of hairspray, and an arm cramp, I just gave up and wore a hat. That's my version of effortless.

I spent a solid hour this morning making myself look 'effortlessly put together.'

Which means I've now got about a three-hour grace period before humidity, gravity, or my own face decides to stage a coup.

My therapist told me I needed to 'be present' and 'live in the moment.'

So now I just aggressively stare at my to-do list, convinced I'm practicing mindfulness.

My male friends can leave the house in five minutes flat.

I need five minutes just to locate my 'everyday' purse, which usually contains a rogue earring, three different chapsticks, and the entire emotional baggage of my 20s.