I asked my manager why our meeting couldn't have been an email

And they said 'because then we wouldn't have had the opportunity to synergize our thought processes and disrupt the paradigm of traditional communication'

I've been doing the work in therapy to improve my attachment style

Now I'm just aggressively attached to my couch and refusal to commit to anything else

I just got a raise, but it's basically just an inflation adjustment

So now I can afford last year's lifestyle, congratulations to me

I've been trying to develop a self-care routine

but so far it just consists of buying face masks and calling it 'me time'