My boss told us 'we're a family here,'

which is why I'm always guilt-tripped into doing extra work and can never afford to move out.

My biggest fear isn't dying.

It's having to pay for the funeral.

My therapist asked me what my biggest fantasy was.

I told her: a 40-hour work week.

I asked my boomer dad for housing advice

He said 'just save up and put 20% down', which is like telling me to 'just buy a unicorn and ride it to work'