Why did Frosty the Snowman have kids

Because he wanted a family that was chill

Why did my true love get me a gift receipt instead of the actual presents from 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'?

Because returning nine ladies dancing and ten lords a-leaping is a logistical nightmare.

What do you call a mischievous candy cane?

A hook-lum!

Why did Santa consult a meteorologist every December?

He needed accurate "snow-casts" for his delivery routes.