I went to the grocery store to pick up some milk, but as I was walking down the aisle, I felt the urge to add some flair to my shopping experience.

So, I started voicing my inner monologue out loud, 'I'll just grab this gallon of 2%... the choice of a woman who's given up on love, but still holds on to hope... and also needs cereal for the week.'

I was parallel parking yesterday, which, for me, is usually a low-stakes exercise in mild panic.

But with my main character energy, I reversed so slowly and deliberately, eyes narrowed, as if I were a master spy expertly maneuvering a getaway vehicle to a dramatic orchestral score only I could hear.

I've been trying to learn how to accept compliments without apologizing for them

but so far, my default response is still 'oh, this old thing? I just threw it on'

He had 'Lover of good vibes and positive energy' in his Instagram bio.

His last five stories were screenshots of petty arguments in his group chat.