I thought I knew my family well before planning our wedding.

Turns out, some relatives are like volatile chemicals; best kept in separate containers on the seating chart.

My wife and I have been married for ten years and we still share a closet.

By 'share,' I mean her clothes live *in* the closet, and mine live *on* that one chair in the bedroom.

My wife and I have been married for ten years, and we've finally figured out who's responsible for what.

Turns out, we both think the other person is responsible for changing the toilet paper roll.

When we were dating, my husband used to send me romantic texts like, 'Missing you already, can't wait to see you!'

Now, his most romantic text is usually just, 'Did you remember to take the trash out?'