You know what they say about Thanksgiving dinner

It's the one time of year where we gather around the table and pretend to like each other's cooking.

My family's Thanksgiving isn't just a holiday meal.

It's an annual performance review of everyone's life choices, followed by pie.

Why did the stuffing win an award?

Because it was outstanding in its field!

Our family's Thanksgiving dinner seating chart isn't about politeness or proximity to the food.

It's a strategic battlefield plan to minimize exposure to Uncle Steve's political theories and Aunt Carol's 'When are you getting married?' interrogation.