I've been dating a girl who's really into astrology, and she told me our love was written in the stars.

But honestly, I think our love life is more like a lunar cycle – it's all about the phases, and sometimes it's just a dark void for weeks.

My girlfriend just bought a new pressure cooker.

She says she loves all the build-up, and then a good, controlled release.

I've been dating a professional taxidermist, and she's been teaching me about the importance of stuffing and mounting

But honestly, it's been a real challenge to get her to relax her grip

I've been dating a librarian, and she's always checking me out.