My main character energy is so intense, when I'm stuck on hold with customer service...

...I rehearse an Oscar-worthy monologue about corporate injustice, complete with dramatic pauses, just in case they decide to pick up mid-soliloquy.

I've been noticing that guys on dating apps love to say they're 'entrepreneurs'

But it's just code for 'I'm unemployed and playing video games in my mom's basement'

Guys always say they want a 'strong, independent woman' who 'knows what she wants.'

Then you actually *tell* them what you want, and suddenly you're 'intimidating' or 'too opinionated.' Pick a lane, fellas.

I tried meditating this morning, like my wellness app suggested.

Five minutes in, my brain was just a frantic PowerPoint presentation of every undone chore, forgotten email, and questionable life choice I've ever made.