Why did the head elf always carry a ruler around the toy workshop?

To make sure everything was made to *elf-act* specifications.

Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?

Because he had low elf-esteem.

Why do parents always hear bells ringing after Christmas morning?

Because every toy assembly completed means an angel gets its wings!

Why did Santa need an extra large desk at the North Pole?

He had a lot of Claus-es in his contract.