My doctor asked me about my long-term health plan.

I told him, 'Well, if things don't pick up, I'm just researching the best prices for my organs.'

My parents always said they wanted me to have a better life than them.

Now it looks like the only thing I'm inheriting is their economic anxiety.

My boss told us 'we're a family here,'

which is why I'm always guilt-tripped into doing extra work and can never afford to move out.

I've been reading about the benefits of having a 5-year plan

but my rent is month-to-month, so that's about as far as I'm thinking