Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged!

I'm trying to start a career in welding, but it's not a glowing review yet.

I was at the store today with my kids, and we saw a big display of bread. My kids were excited to pick out a loaf for our dinner, and as we were looking at the different types, I started thinking about how bread is the foundation of many meals.

I guess you could say it's the 'root' of all food!

I went to the ocean and saw a shell that was having an identity crisis

It was feeling a little shell-shocked