I told my kids we were going to a grape concert tonight

They weren't amused, but I thought it was a crushing success

I'm a baker, and I'm feeling crumby today because I kneaded the dough, but it didn't rise to my expectations.

I went to the doctor and said I had a problem with my ears.

He said, 'Don't worry, it's just a hollow feeling.'

Why did the cat join a band?

Because it wanted to be the purr-cussionist.