I took my kids to the orchard to pick some apples, and we met a farmer who was known for his cleverness. He showed us all the different types of trees and explained how he used special techniques to keep them healthy. As we were leaving, I asked him what his secret was to growing such great apples

and he said it was just a core value of his

So, I went to the library this afternoon, looking for a book on anti-gravity. I spent a long time searching through all the science shelves and even asked the librarian for some help.

But I just couldn't put it down.

Why did the calendar get invited to all the parties?

Because it had so many dates!

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.