My therapist suggested I find a hobby to de-stress.

So now I just stress about whether I'm monetizing my hobbies enough.

My therapist said I need to 'regulate my nervous system.'

My nervous system said, 'Just one more TikTok.'

My boss told me to 'manifest a positive outcome'

when I asked for a raise.

I'm at the age where I'm expected to be a homeowner, but

my biggest investment is a Roth IRA with 17 dollars in it, which I'm pretty sure is just a savings account for my future anxiety.