I've been reading about the benefits of having a 5-year plan

but my rent is month-to-month, so that's about as far as I'm thinking

My parents always said they wanted me to have a better life than them.

Now it looks like the only thing I'm inheriting is their economic anxiety.

My doctor asked me about my long-term health plan.

I told him, 'Well, if things don't pick up, I'm just researching the best prices for my organs.'

I finally feel like I'm really adulting.

I just paid rent and immediately felt the urge to take a nap on the floor.