My girlfriend told me she likes it when I take charge in the bedroom.

So I handed her the remote.

Why did the man get fired from the sperm bank?

He kept eating the samples.

My wife told me she wanted to get down on her hands and knees, go deeper than ever before, and really let me take control from behind to ensure everything was spotless.

Turns out she was just talking about scrubbing the stubborn grout in the bathroom.

I've been taking pottery classes, and my instructor says I have a natural talent...

...for getting my hands deep into the clay and making it spin just right.