I told my wife she was going to be a great musician, but she didn't believe me.

Now she's a maestro of disappointment, but I still think she's a note-worthy singer.

My daughter was doing her homework and came to me complaining. She said her pencil wasn't working and she couldn't write anything.

I told her, 'Well, if it's not working, it sounds like it's pointless!'

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

The tents were intense.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!