He told me he’s 'so over' all the superficiality and fake stuff on social media.

His last Instagram post was a picture of him holding a single coffee mug, staring contemplatively out a window, with the caption '#deepthoughts #morningvibes #unfiltered.'

My male colleague just got promoted for his 'bold vision' and 'strategic foresight.'

And I just got an email praising my 'excellent organizational skills' after I color-coded the entire department's shared drive.

I lost my keys this morning and was running frantically late.

But instead of panicking, I just stood perfectly still, closed my eyes, and waited for the slow-motion flashback to reveal where I'd left them. It worked, almost too well.

He had 'Lover of good vibes and positive energy' in his Instagram bio.

His last five stories were screenshots of petty arguments in his group chat.