I was having a particularly mundane day, so I decided to spice things up

I started narrating my laundry cycle in a David Attenborough voice, and now I'm convinced my socks are on a journey of self-discovery

I've started using a habit-tracking app to monitor my daily routine

Now I'm not just procrastinating, I'm also collecting data on how good I am at procrastinating

When I'm having a bad day, I don't just mope around.

I find the nearest window, gaze out pensively at nothing, and patiently wait for the rain to start, because every great character arc needs a 'staring out the window while it rains' scene.

I've been noticing that guys on dating apps love to brag about their 'exotic' travels

but their Instagram stories are just 10 different angles of the Eiffel Tower from a middle school trip