I was helping my neighbor prepare her garden last weekend. She said we needed to get down on our knees, really open up the soil, and plant some fresh seeds deep into the fertile ground. She even said the longer and harder we worked, the better the yield would be.

It was exhausting, but by the end of the day, we had a magnificent bed of tulips ready to burst.

My girlfriend told me she wanted a man who was good with his hands, like a carpenter.

She said I spend too much time measuring and not enough time nailing.

I've been dating a girl who's into ghosting, which is weird because

I'm starting to think she's just into haunt-ing me after sex.

I've been dating a girl who's a talented locksmith

and she's always looking for a key to a deeper relationship