My neighbor, who's a master gardener, told me the key to a thriving patch...

...is knowing exactly when to go deep, get dirty, and give it a good watering.

My wife was complaining about our plumbing last night. She said something about needing a man who could really handle a pipe, get deep down, and know how to screw things tight to stop the leaking.

So I called a plumber, and he'll be here Monday.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional sausage maker, and she's always trying to get me to help her stuff the casing.

My girlfriend told me she loves our road trips.

She says she really enjoys the way the engine vibrates between her legs after a long, hot ride.