My girlfriend told me she wanted me to 'take her breath away' in bed.

I said, 'Honey, I thought we agreed we were done with the chokeholds.'

I've been dating a librarian, and she's very particular about our love life.

She's always checking me out, but never returns me on time.

I was trying to set up my new home entertainment system last night.

My friend, who's an electrician, said I just needed to make sure all my connections were really tight.

I've been dating a girl who's a sex therapist, and she's always trying to diagnose our problems in the bedroom.

But honestly, I think she's just trying to bill me by the hour.