My date told me she loved a man who could really handle his tools, get down and dirty, and wasn't afraid to get his hands on some really tough nuts.

She just needed help fixing her car engine.

My boss told me I need to stop coming up short on my deadlines.

I told him, 'At least I'm not the one coming early.'

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more passionate and put more effort into our sex life.

I told her, 'Baby, I'm putting in all the effort *I've got*. You want more, you gotta start paying me.'

My personal trainer told me I needed to focus on deeper stretches.

I told him I was already doing my best to get them in every night.