Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged!

So I was at the park with my kids, and we saw a person flying a kite that was shaped like a shark. The kids were thrilled to see it soaring through the air, and we started talking about the different types of kites you can buy. I asked the person how they got their kite to fly so high, and they said

it was a jaws-dropping experience

So I was wrestling with my computer all morning, trying to get it to work properly. It kept freezing up and being incredibly slow, really testing my patience.

I finally decided to just give it a *byte* of my mind.

I was driving home today and saw a car pulled over on the side of the road with a flat tire. I felt bad for the driver, it looked like they were really stressed out trying to change it.

I guess they were having a *tire-ing* day.