What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

So I was at the beach with my kids, and we saw a guy selling shells. He had all sorts of shells, from big conch shells to tiny clam shells. My kid asked him how he managed to collect so many

and he said it was a shell of a job!

Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed.

I'm a baker, and I'm feeling crumby today.