My car made a weird noise this morning, and I immediately knew I needed to get it looked at.

But before I could even *think* about calling the mechanic, I had to Google 'weird car noises women need to know about,' then 'how to sound like I know what I'm talking about to a mechanic,' and finally 'what to wear so they don't try to upsell me on blinker fluid.'

I was at the grocery store, and as I reached for the last loaf of bread, I felt a surge of drama

So I monologued to the entire aisle, 'It's not just a loaf of bread, it's a symbol of hope in a world that's always trying to toast us'

I've started using a mindfulness app to help me stay focused throughout the day

Now I'm just mindfully aware of how much I'm procrastinating

My male colleague got a promotion and immediately started delegating all the 'team morale' tasks to me.

Apparently, my natural ability to remember birthdays and organize potlucks is now considered a 'leadership quality.'