I went to the DMV to renew my license, but I didn't just wait in line

I was waiting for my cue, rehearsing my lines, and perfecting my 'determined citizen' monologue for when they called my number

I love how self-care ads always say 'take a few minutes for yourself each day'

like I can just carve out a tranquil oasis between my 3 PM meeting and 3:05 PM panic attack

I've been noticing that guys on dating apps love to brag about their 'exotic' travels

but their Instagram stories are just 10 different angles of the Eiffel Tower from a middle school trip

His dating app bio said he was an 'adventure seeker looking for his partner in crime'.

Turns out, his biggest adventure was choosing between regular and extra-spicy mayo for his chicken sandwich.