I love that corporate dress codes are getting more relaxed these days.

It just means I can spend 20 minutes trying to find the *perfect* blazer to make my 'dressed-up' sweatpants look professional.

I've been trying to learn how to say no without apologizing,

but so far I've only mastered saying 'I'm so sorry, no' without apologizing for the apology.

My male colleague got a promotion and immediately started delegating all the 'team morale' tasks to me.

Apparently, my natural ability to remember birthdays and organize potlucks is now considered a 'leadership quality.'

My phone just prompted me to 'Clear tabs and free up space.'

And I thought, 'Honey, if you could see the tabs open in my *brain* right now, you'd just give up and restart.'