I've been dating a girl who's a talented baker, and she's always trying to get me to rise to the occasion.

But honestly, I think she's just kneading the attention.

My ex always told me I had a head for business...

...which was confusing, because I was usually between her legs.

My girlfriend told me she wanted our relationship to 'evolve,' to 'reach new heights' and 'explore uncharted territory.'

I thought she meant we should try anal.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional dominatrix, and she's always trying to make our relationship more exciting.

But honestly, the only thing she's really dominating is my credit card.