My girlfriend told me she loves foreplay.

I told her, 'Great, because I usually need about an hour and a half just to get my socks off.'

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more passionate and put more effort into our sex life.

I told her, 'Baby, I'm putting in all the effort *I've got*. You want more, you gotta start paying me.'

My new Pilates instructor told me I need to really engage my core, get deep into my pelvic floor, and then slowly release it with control.

I'm still not sure what a 'hundreds' exercise is, but I'm getting quite good at it.

I've been dating a girl who's a talented architect, and she's always trying to design the perfect bedroom

But honestly, I think she's just trying to build a case for why I'm always on top