My girlfriend spent an hour in the dressing room yesterday trying on new pants.

When she finally emerged, she sighed and said, "It was a tight squeeze, and took a lot of maneuvering, but I think I'm really going to enjoy these."

My personal trainer told me I needed to focus on deeper stretches.

I told him I was already doing my best to get them in every night.

I've been dating a girl who's into ghosting, which is weird because

I'm starting to think she's just into haunt-ing me after sex.

Why did the man get fired from the sperm bank?

He kept eating the samples.