They say diamonds are forever, and chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand...

...but my preferred Valentine's gift is a streaming service that doesn't ask 'Are you still watching?' because it *knows* I am.

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away...

...trying to read the tiny print on this candy heart.

I've been trying to find my perfect match on dating apps

but so far, it's just been a series of swipes, disappointment, and proof that my friends were wrong when they said I'm a catch

Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a blooming good time