I finally feel like I'm really adulting.

I just paid rent and immediately felt the urge to take a nap on the floor.

I'm really trying to plan for the future.

My long-term plan is just to survive long enough to see the next season of whatever I'm binging.

I'm really trying to get my finances in order.

But my most expensive hobby is currently 'being alive.'

My financial advisor asked me about my long-term investments.

I told him, 'My houseplants. They're the only thing in my life consistently showing growth.'