I told my girlfriend she was amazing in bed, and she asked me to be more specific.

So I said, 'You're great at hiding the evidence, but sometimes I feel like I'm the one being investigated.'

I've been dating a girl who's really into role-playing in the bedroom

But honestly, I'm getting a little tired of being the defendant

I've been dating a girl who's a professional sausage maker, and she's always trying to get me to help her stuff the casing.

I've been dating a girl who's a master gardener, and she's always trying to get me to help her with her roots, especially the ones that are really deep and need a lot of attention.

Now our relationship is really growing, and I'm finding myself getting wrapped up in her vines.