Why did the man bring a screwdriver on his first date?

He wanted to take things to the next level.

My financial advisor told me I really needed to diversify my assets.

I told him, 'Don't worry, I already have a very well-rounded portfolio.'

My cooking instructor always emphasized the importance of proper preparation.

He said you need to tenderize your meat thoroughly before you really pound it.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more passionate and put more effort into our sex life.

I told her, 'Baby, I'm putting in all the effort *I've got*. You want more, you gotta start paying me.'