I matched with a girl on Tinder who said she was 'fluid' in her sexuality.

I thought, great, someone who finally understands my problem with premature ejaculation.

My girlfriend told me I need to be more supportive in our relationship, really hold her up and be her rock.

I told her, 'Honey, I've been supporting you on my face for weeks now.'

My girlfriend told me she wanted to spice things up in the bedroom, said she wanted me to try 'anything I've always fantasized about.'

So I spent the night meticulously organizing my sock drawer, occasionally asking her if she liked the new filing system.

Why did the man name his dick 'Cashew'?

Because every time he got excited, it went nuts.