I've started using a mindfulness app to help me stay focused throughout the day

Now I'm just mindfully aware of how much I'm procrastinating

I was at the grocery store, and as I reached for the last loaf of bread, I felt a surge of drama

So I monologued to the entire aisle, 'It's not just a loaf of bread, it's a symbol of hope in a world that's always trying to toast us'

My 'main character energy' is so strong, I don't just 'run errands.'

I'm performing a meticulously choreographed montage of purposeful strides set to an empowering indie soundtrack, culminating in me dramatically slamming my trunk closed and driving off into the sunset, even if it's 2 PM and I'm just going home with paper towels.

I saw a guy's dating profile that said he was looking for a woman who could 'match his energy.'

My man, your energy is 'sweatpants and asking if I'm busy tonight at 10 PM on a Tuesday.'