I was running late for work and spilled coffee all over my shirt, so I

decided to monologue about the meaninglessness of modern life as I stood there, coffee dripping down my legs, because if I'm going to be a hot mess, I'm going to be a cinematic hot mess.

I finally blocked out an hour for 'self-care' last night.

I spent 15 minutes trying to find the right guided meditation on YouTube, 20 minutes wondering if my face mask was expired, and the last 25 minutes stress-cleaning my bathroom before I could relax.

My favorite pair of jeans are the ones I bought three years ago because they were 'a little loose.'

Now they require a full body exhale and a prayer to the denim gods just to get past my knees.

I love how some skincare products claim to be 'anti-aging' as if they're not just delaying the inevitable