I've started to notice that my online shopping habits are being influenced by the 'frequently bought together' section

now I'm convinced I need a scented candle and a romance novel to truly complete my purchase of socks

He complimented me by saying, 'You're so chill, not like other girls.'

And I just nodded, thinking, 'Buddy, my 'chill' is 90% emotional exhaustion from dealing with guys like you.'

He told me he was looking for a woman with a 'great sense of humor' on his dating profile.

Turns out that just meant someone who laughs at all his *okay* jokes.

I've started carrying a small emergency kit in my purse, complete with bobby pins, pain relievers, and a portable charger.

Because apparently, I'm not just a woman, I'm a disaster relief team.