I just spent twenty minutes drafting an email to a male colleague about a simple project update.

Not because the content was complex, but because I had to make sure I sounded collaborative, not bossy, and then added three exclamation points so I didn't seem cold.

My friend just got new bangs and asked me if they made her look younger.

I took a deep breath, calculated the optimal response time between 'immediate enthusiastic lie' and 'brutal honesty that ends a friendship,' and finally said, 'They definitely... *frame your face*!'

My car made a weird noise this morning, and I immediately knew I needed to get it looked at.

But before I could even *think* about calling the mechanic, I had to Google 'weird car noises women need to know about,' then 'how to sound like I know what I'm talking about to a mechanic,' and finally 'what to wear so they don't try to upsell me on blinker fluid.'

I saw a guy's dating profile where he described himself as 'low-key' and looking for 'good vibes only.'

Which I've learned is code for 'I bring absolutely nothing to the table, and I will never acknowledge your feelings.'