When I'm trying on clothes at the store, it's not just a fitting room experience.

It's a full-blown montage sequence set to an indie pop anthem, where I discover my true self in a sensible blazer, culminating in a dramatic slow-motion spin under the fluorescent lights.

I've been noticing that guys on dating apps love to claim they're 'dog dads'

but their profiles only have pictures of the dog, and I'm starting to think the dog is the one swiping right

I've been trying to master the art of 'casual' texting with my crush

but it's hard when you've written and deleted the same 'hey, what's up?' 12 times

I tried meditating this morning, like my wellness app suggested.

Five minutes in, my brain was just a frantic PowerPoint presentation of every undone chore, forgotten email, and questionable life choice I've ever made.