I've been dating a professional librarian, and she's been teaching me about the importance of cataloging and shelving our desires.

But it turns out, her favorite position is still 'between the stacks'.

My girlfriend told me she wanted to feel something 'deep and meaningful' in bed.

I told her, 'Honey, if you wanted a colonoscopy, you could have just said so.'

I've been dating a girl who's a skilled paleontologist, and she's always taking me to her lab to show me her latest excavation project, which involves carefully removing layers to expose what's been hidden for a long time.

She says it's all about getting to the core of the matter, and I have to admit, it's been a real discovery process.

My girlfriend asked me to fix a really stubborn clog in the shower last night. I had to get down on my knees, work it hard and deep with a long, flexible rod, and really thrust it in until it finally came loose.

The drain's running perfectly now, but I think I pulled a muscle.