I've been dating a girl who's a professional voice actor, and she's always doing different accents in bed

But honestly, the only one that ever comes close to the real thing is the one she uses when she's faking it

I've been dating a girl who's really into astrology, and she told me our love was written in the stars.

But honestly, I think our love life is more like a lunar cycle – it's all about the phases, and sometimes it's just a dark void for weeks.

They say men fantasize about having sex with multiple women.

And women fantasize about having sex with *one* man who doesn't need directions.

I've been trying to improve my relationships by taking a wine and paint class

Now I'm better at handling brushstrokes, but still struggling to find a good blend