Why did the man name his dick 'Cashew'?

Because every time he got excited, it went nuts.

My friend, who's a professional trombonist, was telling me about the key to a really great performance. He said you have to get a firm grip on the slide, push and pull it with power and precision, and really blow hard and deep to make it sing.

He was showing me how to hit the high notes.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional taxidermist, and she's always trying to get me to mount something that's been dead for a while.

My neighbor asked if I could help her with her garden project last weekend. She wanted me to get down low, handle something long and stiff, really work it back and forth, and then help her get it standing straight up.

She was trying to build a new trellis for her climbing roses.