My girlfriend spent an hour in the dressing room yesterday trying on new pants.

When she finally emerged, she sighed and said, "It was a tight squeeze, and took a lot of maneuvering, but I think I'm really going to enjoy these."

Why did the man get fired from the sperm bank?

He kept eating the samples.

My girlfriend wanted to try role-playing in bed last night.

I told her I'd be the mailman, but she'd have to wait outside naked and I'd just leave the package on the porch.

I've been dating a clockmaker, and she's always trying to wind me up