I've been dating a girl who's a professional taxidermist, and she's always trying to get me to mount something that's been dead for a while.

My coworker told me he was really struggling with a stubborn problem at home.

He said he just couldn't get it up.

My piano teacher told me I needed to really 'finger' the keys with more passion, get my 'rhythm' just right, and make the whole piece build up to a powerful 'climax'.

I think he just wants me to practice my sonata.

My girlfriend told me she likes it when I take charge in the bedroom.

So I handed her the remote.