I told my kids we were going to a grape concert tonight

They weren't amused, but I thought it was a crushing success

Why did the man get fired from the button factory?

He kept losing his temper.

So I was at the beach with my kids, and we saw a person building an enormous sandcastle with towers and a moat. The kids were fascinated by the details and started asking the builder about their design process. I asked the person how they managed to make their castle so sturdy, and they said

it was a grain of experience

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.