I'm trying to be more spontaneous in my dating life.

Last week, I spent three hours spontaneously overthinking whether I should text him back immediately or wait a strategic 23 minutes.

I was having a particularly mundane day, so I decided to spice things up

I started narrating my laundry cycle in a David Attenborough voice, and now I'm convinced my socks are on a journey of self-discovery

He said I was 'too picky' because I wanted a guy who could hold a conversation and, you know, ideally have a job.

Meanwhile, his dating profile said 'seeking a woman who's naturally gorgeous, a gourmet chef, and loves watching all 8 seasons of my favorite anime.' Pretty sure we have different definitions of 'picky,' fellas.

He told me he was too busy to text back sometimes because he was 'really focused on his hustle.'

Then I saw his Instagram story of him rating different kinds of frozen pizza for an hour.