I'm at the point where I'm considering a 30-year mortgage

which is also the expected lifespan of my avocado toast-fueled liver

I'm trying to buy a house, but it seems like the only thing I can afford is the Zillow subscription

My parents told me to 'just pull myself up by my bootstraps.'

My boots are from Target and the straps broke two months ago.

My therapist encouraged me to find healthy ways to self-soothe.

So I started color-coding my anxiety spreadsheet.