I've been noticing that guys on dating apps love to brag about being 'dog dads'

but their idea of 'parenting' is just posting a cousin's dog on their profile

I've realized I essentially have two completely separate wardrobes now.

There's the 'present me' wardrobe, which is 90% comfortable leggings and oversized sweaters. And then there's the 'aspirational me' wardrobe, full of tailored blouses and impractical heels, patiently waiting for a life I'm apparently too busy or tired to live.

My co-worker just casually asked if I had any fun weekend plans.

Now my brain is frantically trying to decide if 'binge-watching a show in pajamas' sounds impressively chill or pathetically unaccomplished.

I bought a new pair of jeans that actually have real, functional pockets.

I've been carrying my phone, wallet, and keys in them all week, just walking around the house, marveling at the sheer novelty.