I've been dating a girl who's a professional voice actor, and she's always doing different accents in bed

But honestly, the only one that ever comes close to the real thing is the one she uses when she's faking it

Why did the man bring a ladder on his second date?

He wanted to take things to the next level.

Why did the man name his dick 'Cashew'?

Because every time he got excited, it went nuts.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional welder, and she's always trying to get me to help her join two pieces together in a strong and lasting bond.

She says it's all about the penetration and the heat of the moment.