I told my wife she was going to be a great musician, but she didn't believe me.

Now she's a maestro of disappointment, but I still think she's a note-worthy singer.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

I'm addicted to placebos — I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference.

What do you call a factory that makes good products?

A satisfactory!