I've come to realize that my favorite self-care activity is

rewatching the same 10-minute skincare routine video for the 12th time, because apparently, that's what I mean by 'me time' now.

I've started using a dating app where you have to answer a questionnaire to find your perfect match

Now I know exactly what I'm looking for in a partner: someone who can handle 47 pages of my emotional baggage and still think I'm a catch

This dude on Hinge listed his biggest red flag as 'drama queens.'

His entire profile was basically a subtweet manifesto about exes and 'toxic people.'

I've started to think that my planner is just a book where I write down all the things I'm pretending to have control over