Your mom asked me to try and fix the coffee maker this morning, because it was really slow and sputtering. I tinkered with it for a bit, but it just wouldn't cooperate.

I guess it was still trying to perk up.

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

Why did the musician get locked out of his house?

He couldn't find the right key.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh!