I was helping my neighbor prepare her garden last weekend. She said we needed to get down on our knees, really open up the soil, and plant some fresh seeds deep into the fertile ground. She even said the longer and harder we worked, the better the yield would be.

It was exhausting, but by the end of the day, we had a magnificent bed of tulips ready to burst.

I was trying to set up my new home entertainment system last night.

My friend, who's an electrician, said I just needed to make sure all my connections were really tight.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional cryptologist, and she's always trying to crack my code

But honestly, I think she's just looking for a backdoor entry

My girlfriend told me she wanted our relationship to 'evolve,' to 'reach new heights' and 'explore uncharted territory.'

I thought she meant we should try anal.