I've been dating a professional taxidermist, and she's been teaching me about the importance of stuffing and mounting

But honestly, it's been a real challenge to get her to relax her grip

I've been dating a professional chocolatier, and she's been teaching me about the art of molding relationships.

Now I know why our love is so rich and nutty, but sometimes it leaves a bitter aftertaste.

My neighbor called me late last night, frantic. She said she was trying a new position but just couldn't get it to feel right...

...and asked if I could come over and help her properly align the shelves.

I've been dating a girl who's really into astrology, and she told me our love was written in the stars.

But honestly, I think our love life is more like a lunar cycle – it's all about the phases, and sometimes it's just a dark void for weeks.